Dresses
by Monkee-J
Summary: “Freedom!” they barked as they ran to the front yard and quickly jumped the fence. Just a stab at some parts of Neopets that make it a great site all wrapped up in a cleverly constructed narrative so it can legally be called a story.


_Hey y'all. This is Monkee-J. Short story, I'll probably add another chapter or two. This is just something I found on my computer which I was gonna send to the Neopian Times but I guess I'll run it through you guys first. Okay, please enjoy!_

**Chapter 1**

This story is about a poor mistreated Neopet and his brother. It isn't a particularly pleasant story so please feel free to close the program you are reading this on whether it be Microsoft Word, Fanfiction, the hard-to-get-hardcopy or wherever else this story might be placed.

Well, if you're still reading I suppose you didn't take my advice above. Okay, I'll stop stalling and get to the real story. As I said this is about a poor mistreated Neopet who I recently employed as the shopkeeper of my shop which he named 'Grrr…'. (Feel free to visit the shop and while you're there, take a look around and buy a few things.) His name is Bone the Lupe and he has some issues which he is sorting out with his psychiatrist, but to understand this I'll have to take you back, back to when Bone was just a baby…

* * *

Okay, so here we are, 15 years in the past. Bone is on the carpet playing with his younger brother Grey the Gelert. It would seem that they are just another ordinary Neopian family. But this is far from the truth. Their owner, who I shall refer to as 'the owner' because of some legal stuff which stops me from stating his/her real name, has gone to work and left them alone without a babysitter, but Bone and Grey are used to that. After all, he/she's done it plenty of times before and they've never complained but then again how could they, they're just babies. But this isn't even the worst thing about their owner.

The owner would constantly 'forget' to feed them and when he finally did, the meal would be half a pea, taken from either leftover omelettes or certain baby foods. It's amazing that they survived for so long but Bone wasn't one to give up and helped Grey get through this terrible ordeal too. Bone would even give his half of a pea to Grey when he thought he was getting too hungry. So, you're asking, how could someone as high-spirited as Bone get pushed so far as to have to seek help from a psychiatrist? Well, be patient and I'll tell you.

So Bone's hunger – status – I guess you'd call it, is constantly on 'dying'. Seriously though, why he hasn't died is amazing in itself. Honestly, this story can just be about why Neopets _never_ die, not that I want them to, of course, but haven't you thought about it? Obviously, it must have something to do with that useless bottle of sand you keep in your inventory just for the heck of it or because it's rainbow colored and looks pretty cool but when you get down to it, costs absolutely nothing which explains why there are so many at the Money Tree.

Anyway, one day 'the owner' left the door open in his/her Neohome and Bone and Grey being the smart Neopets they are, took a run for it.

"Freedom!" they both said. No that's not right… barked? How is it that Neopets can talk in a language we understand, anyway? I mean, many of the Neopets really don't have suitable voice boxes, or at least they shouldn't due to their anatomy. Oh, did I lose you? Okay, so you know how a Lupe is practically a wolf or at least part of the dog family? Yes, well, when was the last time you heard your dog talk to you? If you actually answered that seriously and truthfully, then you're on the wrong website. You should be currently checking the map for the closest possible psychiatric help. 

So…

"Freedom!" they barked as they ran to the front yard and quickly jumped the fence. Unfortunately, the hem of Grey's dress got caught on the fence when he tried to jump clear of it. 'Dress?' I hear you saying. Yes, dress. And this is the part when the story becomes rather unnerving. 'The owner', despite his lack of time to play or feed his Neopets, inexplicably found time to _dress_ them. And what's worse, in _dresses_! Dun DUN **DUN!!!**

Okay, so it's not as horrible as I might have implied in the first paragraph of this story. In fact, you can say it's pretty darn anti-climatic. But imagine this; you're only, say, two years old and starving and, on top of it, dressed in a _dress_! Well maybe it's not that bad if you're a human. Heck, it'd be weirder if your parents let you roam around nude but that's not the point, is it?

Though it wasn't that unpleasant, it was enough to scar poor Bone. Anyway, Bone chewed through that problem and off they went.

So they ran across the rainbow, swam across the sea and ran right into the giant omelette. By the way, the giant omelette is a great place to grab some free food but why does it say some omelettes, let's say carrot and pea, are rare but _still_ don't sell for a penny? It's hard for Bone to pay for his psychiatric help with these measly 20np profit margins…

Anyway, there they stayed and ate till they were finally full which can explain for that omelette shortage in '90.

* * *

Meanwhile, the owner was coming back home from a hard day of playing luck games, cough gambling cough. With a swish of his long, layered hair, cargo pants and fanny pack he/she opened the gold door. Hey, remember this is the past, this stuff used to be _cool_.

He/she was met with platinum walls and smiled as he fingered the new set of Usuki clothes in his/her hand. The pink tutu was expertly crafted with matching shoes and accessories – a must for any rising ballet star; Usuki Ballet Set. Bone will love this.

"Bone! Grey!" he/she sang as he/she practically skipped into the Neohome.

He/she scanned the lounge only to find the sheet covered chair (seems like our owner likes to keep the house clean. Oddly, there is a dung arm chair right next to it which could explain the sheet also). The multicolored bean bags were all there, as was the round rainbow table and all other furniture he/she thought would look good with the walls.

"Bone! Grey! I'm calling you!"

He/she searched the entire home; ground floor, sky floor and second sky floor. Finally, he/she let out an exasperated sigh, well, more like yell since there have been documented reports by the Neopia Central Police Department of a dramatic spike in disturbance calls by annoyed JubJubs and the like complaining about someone screaming a not-to-polite word which, if I printed, would raise this story a few ratings higher.

After a few more instances and a few more calls followed by a Pteri policeman dropping by to tell the owner to 'stop or I'll be forced to take you downtown,' the owner decided to ring in a private eye and employ the first company he found in the Neopia Pages – Shoyru Sleuths Inc.


End file.
